Only when children feel safe, they feel free to explore the world!

In Marlow’s Hierarchy of Needs, safety and protection is almost a given need. In our modern environment, our children often take these for granted. And as our children, they should be given this right.

Where shelter and physical well-being are almost guaranteed by parents to their children, we often forget another aspect of safety and protection – the emotional side.

As important as being physically protected, it is necessary for children to grow up in a emotionally-safe environment where they know they will be protected from being harmed psychologically.

Examples of unsafe emotional environment are where parents are constantly quarrelling, the child is being canned or hit regardless of the reason, and there is a lot of mistrust in the family.

Detailed studies have revealed that children do not know if they are safe; they only feel if they are safe. To children, any children, their parents are their whole world.

The entire world of a child can be shaken when his parents are always absent or are constantly unhappy and stressed. He can still feel unsafe even when his parents try to quarrel behind closed doors. Words or justification can rarely comfort a child who does not feel safe.

So the second priceless gift you can give to your children is to have them feel safe and protected, both physically and emotionally.

This season, attempt to be consciously curious and aware of your emotional states when you are spending time with the family. Spend quality time with your children. Be there for them physically, and emotionally.

Tip: If you simply cannot find the time to be with your child, a warm hug and reassuring touch can bring calmness to a child. More on how these can be done in the next article.

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Jia Huey is a Life Coach who helps everyday people like you and me improve our lives in the areas of relationships, parenting, career success, emotional and mental health, psychotrauma, addictions, unhealthy repeated habits, and any areas of “stuckness” in our lives. She is especially apt at facilitating her clients to uncover what is actually unconsciously stopping them from achieving their goals.

Her work is based on Dr Prof Franz Ruppert‘s framework of Identity Oriented Psychotrauma Theory (IOPT). Dr Franz Ruppert is Professor of Psychology at the University of Applied Sciences in Munich, Germany. He gained his PhD in Work and Organisational Psychology at the Technical University of Munich in 1985.

Jia Huey has done life-changing coaching and life-empowering consultations for clients in Singapore and Manila. All of her clients have since found clarity, confidence and empowerment in their lives.

Jia Huey’s life mission is to educate more people in Singapore and Asia to be part of a safe and healthy community where it is okay to admit we are not okay.

The reality is that you are not alone; everyone has some issues however big or small in their life. However, in this day and age, many of us have grown accustomed to these issues… so much so that we have become numb to the stress and suffering that we had buried deep down, are currently experiencing, and will be facing.

The truth is, stress and suffering should not be a norm… your norm. There is really a solution!

If you or someone you know wants to have a healthy relationship or improve an area of her life, you can contact her at JiaHuey.lui@rhemaworks.com.

Keep a look out for upcoming talks and events at www.facebook.com/systemoftheheart.